Flew from Manchester to Orlando on Monday morning. 0500 check in. Went through security and got the Full Monte. Fingers inside the waist band, armpits, ball bounce, crack of ass, you name it. I didn't feel safer, I felt fury. A free people should not be subjected to this level of indignity to get on a damned airplane. I'd already been through a totally clean bag x-ray, two hand swabs at different locations, and a clean scanner sweep, so some prick was just checking a box on some form that requires some number of middle aged white guys to be groped by some smiling jackwad who couldn't pass highschool. You're a real go-getter Unterwachtmeister Stinkfinger! Make that quota, and you'll get promoted to Oberwachtmeister Stinkfinger in no time! Maybe get a house in the suburbs and a mistress on the side. Have a second one with the boys tonight after work.

I hope that entire agency is burned to a crisp in the eternal fires. Fuck it, I'll build a fire and burn them one at a time if that's what it takes to get it done sooner.

I will never forgive the politicians for sticking us with that miserable group of serial molesters (Fuck YOU, GWB), and then letting it unionize (DOUBLE FUCK YOU BHO). Those pricks will still be drawing checks when we no longer even need an airline industry because we get StarTrek beamed from point to point. Now that there's a union, they will NEVER go away. Hell, they are still trying to expand into subways, bus systems and every other place people congregate. I'll bet they'd like to check the balls of sports fans heading into high school basketball games or when going into a restaurant. "Big Brother should make sure you are SAFE the TSA Way everywhere you go!" is probably their motto. "Every day is better with a Cavity Search!" must be something like a prime directive. Can't be too safe you know.

Fuck that agency to hell. Why someone would choose to do that for a living is totally alien to me.

With apologies to The Clash;

So you got someone to boss around
It makes you feel big now
You drift until you brutalize
You made your first kill now

[/rant]

Ever seen what's been taken off people trying to board aircraft?

Yup. And according to their 2015 audit, they only hit 5% of the time. That means all of that stuff is already flying behind you in the big metal tube, and mirabile dictu, no one is doing bad things with it.

Xray, scan and profile. Believe it or not, profiling is legal. It's using observation to determine risk.

The only metal on me was my zipper. And amazingly, they didn't actually check that, Lord be praised.

I wasn't a risk; I was a check box.

Now maybe you understand why I prefer to do my own flying. Stick around, we'll teach you how to do it.

Assuming that all the paperwork that I submitted today goes through without a hitch, I'm good for another two years as an instructor.

My name is berto and I support this rant.

Reminded me of the old Minnie Pearl joke.
Can't find the joke but it went sort of like...

Minnie said she got frisked all over, up and down by a Secret Service agent one time. The guy apologized for the necessary intrusion. When it was done she offered the guy a dollar if he would do it again.

Whatever happened to our resident TSA apologist around here? Is he still a member?

Those were some fun threads, watching him get pummeled.

But.... did you have to take your shoes off?

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:
Whatever happened to our resident TSA apologist around here? Is he still a member?

Those were some fun threads, watching him get pummeled.

Probably to the same place the FBI apologist went

I despise the TSA. My 16 year old daughter has been subject to the enhanced pat down the last 4 times we have flown. To say I am getting frustrated is an understatement. We signed up for global entry just to avoid this type of treatment. No dice, still got "randomly" picked.

Haven't had the full monte in awhile, but the last time they ran a swab over my hands. I thought that was really odd. Wonder what would have happened if I had been at the range that day?

The exact reasons I drive cross country instead of fly.
I decide the leg room, passengers, soundtracks and food/beverage choices.
I decide what guns are where, how many there are and how much ammo.
I decide whether the AC or heat is on and at what level.

The only time I will fly is if a family member is near death 1500 miles away and I may not make it in time if I drive. (less than 36 hrs)
Other than that...FUCK THE TSA SECURITY THEATER.

Had to double-check the OP, definitely had some semblance to a 2000Z-71 rant.

quote:

Originally posted by P250UA5:
Had to double-check the OP, definitely had some semblance to a 2000Z-71 rant.

Nah, I know ArtieS, and I assure you, he is quite rant-capable, although it does take some real assholery to set him off like this.

Yesterday at Sacramento, senior gal ahead of me in TSA- Pre had a small dog and was trying to unpack her sew machine. Yes. A sewing machine. She dropped the leash for a moment while the pooch meandered. Good gravy people are numbskulls.

All about driving...

quote:

Originally posted by ShouldBFishin:

...but the last time they ran a swab over my hands...

I got that two weeks ago flying back from Stockholm. My boarding pass was marked "SSSS" which (I learned) meant extra screening. At Stockholm I got the hands tested, at Frankfurt (where we boarded the flight to ORD) it was more hand swiping and a few extra questions.

At neither location was there any groping or a body scanner (just a metal detector), and no shoes off.

I'm Global Entry/Pre Check, but AFAIK those don't mean squat overseas.

Flying out of Sacramento I set off the walk through scanner and was motioned to the side. TSA wanded me and the detector indicated my left rear pocket. The agent reaches in the pocket and trying not to smile hands me my tin foil 2 pack of Tucks butt wipes.
Of course I held it high as possible and said honey look what it was as she stood across the room....

Paying $85 for Pre Check is one of the best investments for my blood pressure while traveling