SIGforum.com    Main Page  Hop To Forum Categories  What's Your Deal!    Describing hard liquor in the same manor as wines
Page 1 2 
Go
New
Find
Notify
Tools
Reply
  
Describing hard liquor in the same manor as wines Login/Join 
Certified All Positions
Picture of arcwelder
posted
Frankly, the haughty descriptions on the wee cards at the liquor store have always bugged me, and if I wasn't in the wine aisle, it wasn't a problem.

But, now everything needs a paragraph talking about "notes" and "finishes."

I get it, we need to describe how something tastes and simultaneously promote it.

But, the method you describe a bourbon should not have the same linguistic feel as a chardonnay.

I can't help but read the cards, but I have yet for them to inform me on a choice. I'll try just about anything, and the only one I've really regretted was "Bakon" the bacon flavored vodka.

At the very least, I'd like the character of the overly verbose BS to match that of the type of liquor, if not the brand itself.

If I'm buying a bourbon, I don't want to hear about how it has a mouth feel of rolled cinnamon with an elderberry finish. No, if you're selling me bourbon, tell me it tastes like an old boot with the finish of a punch in the gut. Or just lie and tell me it's like licking the back of Scarlett Johansen's knee.

I like peaty Scotch, just once I'd like to read "with a hint of burning tires."

At least have some fun with the nonsensical jerking off that are these blurbs to sell liquor.


Arc.
______________________________
"Like a bitter weed, I'm a bad seed"- Johnny Cash
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee Herman
Rode hard, put away wet. RIP JHM
"You're a junkyard dog." - Lupe Flores. RIP

 
Posts: 27000 | Location: On fire, off the shoulder of Orion | Registered: June 09, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of SR
posted Hide Post
I gotta say, those are some interesting descriptions. LOL




Speak softly and carry a big stick loaded Sig
 
Posts: 4887 | Location: Raleigh, North Carolina | Registered: September 27, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Hop head
Picture of lyman
posted Hide Post
you should try working with a bunch of Wine Stewards......

most are very very hoity toity, or at least think they are, and live for all that drama on the labels,

one of the highlights when I was in the grocery business was all the free portfolio tastings and free bottles of Wine/beer I would get,,

the trouble was, all of the wine tastings involved being in a room with a bunch of salespeople (not a bad thing mostly) and Wine stewards,,,

at least the wine was good,, in some cases very very good



https://www.chesterfieldarmament.com/

 
Posts: 10409 | Location: Beach VA,not VA Beach | Registered: July 17, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Certified All Positions
Picture of arcwelder
posted Hide Post
Bombay Sapphire - filtered through the finest potpourri we found on the back of your grandma's toilet.


Arc.
______________________________
"Like a bitter weed, I'm a bad seed"- Johnny Cash
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee Herman
Rode hard, put away wet. RIP JHM
"You're a junkyard dog." - Lupe Flores. RIP

 
Posts: 27000 | Location: On fire, off the shoulder of Orion | Registered: June 09, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of konata88
posted Hide Post
Agree. Have wished for a long time that any tasting notes be supplementary to measured metrics like sweetness/dryness or acidity. And they don’t need to be in the same house, so to speak. Different ratings systems for different beverages is fine.

I had a couple of mint juleps for lunch one day. One was great. Switched to a different bourbon for the second one and I think it seared my throat. Screw the notes, give me some objectives first.




"Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy
"A government is just a body of people, usually, notably, ungoverned." Shepherd Book
 
Posts: 12683 | Location: In the gilded cage | Registered: December 09, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
TANSTAAFL
posted Hide Post
Drinking Lagavulin was like drinking liquid smoke. The ad material called it “dry and peaty”.
 
Posts: 715 | Location: Baltimore til I can get out of there. | Registered: June 08, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Certified All Positions
Picture of arcwelder
posted Hide Post
Lagavulin is my favorite Scotch. The peatiest I ever had was Loch Dhu.


Arc.
______________________________
"Like a bitter weed, I'm a bad seed"- Johnny Cash
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee Herman
Rode hard, put away wet. RIP JHM
"You're a junkyard dog." - Lupe Flores. RIP

 
Posts: 27000 | Location: On fire, off the shoulder of Orion | Registered: June 09, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of thezoltar
posted Hide Post
Ah yes... Laphroaig Quarter Cask...a full on rubber fire Big Grin


======
...welcome to the barnyard...some animals are more equal than others
 
Posts: 952 | Location: Utah | Registered: May 29, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Hop head
Picture of lyman
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by buddy357:
Drinking Lagavulin was like drinking liquid smoke. The ad material called it “dry and peaty”.



try Caol Ila,

and it is tasty



https://www.chesterfieldarmament.com/

 
Posts: 10409 | Location: Beach VA,not VA Beach | Registered: July 17, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Power is nothing
without control
posted Hide Post
It tastes like burning wood...but not,like, some shitty pine or a locust you have tried to kill three times and finally just ripped out of the ground and threw on the burn pile. We are talking furniture-grade here. Like, if they hadn’t kept this pure grain alcohol sitting in here for the last few presidents, this wood would totally be paneling some hotshot lawyers office, or maybe ended up as some fancy piece of furniture that is too nice to actually store stuff on. This was primo wood, and we lit that shit on fire just because we wanted our swill to have a hint of something beautiful being destroyed. We probably could have just poured it over some ground up Kingsford, but where is the fun in that?

- Bret
 
Posts: 2461 | Location: OH | Registered: March 03, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Age Quod Agis
Picture of ArtieS
posted Hide Post
quote:
We probably could have just poured it over some ground up Kingsford, but where is the fun in that?

If you are going to do that, please don't use the "Matchlight" kind unless you intend to mix the resulting liquor with Red Bull or 5 Hour Energy.



"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."

Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.
 
Posts: 12743 | Location: Central Florida | Registered: November 02, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Certified All Positions
Picture of arcwelder
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by sadlerbw:
It tastes like burning wood...but not,like, some shitty pine or a locust you have tried to kill three times and finally just ripped out of the ground and threw on the burn pile. We are talking furniture-grade here. Like, if they hadn’t kept this pure grain alcohol sitting in here for the last few presidents, this wood would totally be paneling some hotshot lawyers office, or maybe ended up as some fancy piece of furniture that is too nice to actually store stuff on. This was primo wood, and we lit that shit on fire just because we wanted our swill to have a hint of something beautiful being destroyed. We probably could have just poured it over some ground up Kingsford, but where is the fun in that?

- Bret


Filtered through charcoal made of the finest dead poets.


Arc.
______________________________
"Like a bitter weed, I'm a bad seed"- Johnny Cash
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee Herman
Rode hard, put away wet. RIP JHM
"You're a junkyard dog." - Lupe Flores. RIP

 
Posts: 27000 | Location: On fire, off the shoulder of Orion | Registered: June 09, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fly High, A.J.
Picture of tk13
posted Hide Post
Here's the description I look for:

 
Posts: 1645 | Location: Suffolk, VA | Registered: March 23, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Never Go
Full Retard
Picture of MitchbSC
posted Hide Post
Plywood aged for 6 months and filtered through old tshirts.




They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
 
Posts: 4797 | Location: SC | Registered: January 27, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of pbramlett
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by thezoltar:
Ah yes... Laphroaig Quarter Cask...a full on rubber fire Big Grin


Omg! It tastes like iodine to me. Blech, have an acquaintance that loves the stuff.




Regards,

P.
 
Posts: 1287 | Location: Alabama | Registered: May 20, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
is circumspective
Picture of vinnybass
posted Hide Post
I occasionally like a Tanqueray Martini. Up, not too dry. Though if I had to describe it I'd say, "A delicate hint of hairspray up front finishing with a note of fine paint thinner on the palate at the end."



"We're all travelers in this world. From the sweet grass to the packing house. Birth 'til death. We travel between the eternities."
 
Posts: 5473 | Location: Las Vegas, NV. | Registered: May 30, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
The Unmanned Writer
Picture of LS1 GTO
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by arcwelder76:
Lagavulin is my favorite Scotch. The peatiest I ever had was Loch Dhu.


That sir is my favorite scotch. Unequivocally.







Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.



Only in an insane world are the sane considered insane.


The memories of a man in his old age
Are the deeds of a man in his prime


 
Posts: 14020 | Location: It was Lat: 33.xxxx Lon: 44.xxxx now it's CA :( | Registered: March 22, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Staring back
from the abyss
Picture of Gustofer
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by arcwelder76:

I like peaty Scotch, just once I'd like to read "with a hint of burning tires."

I once described Scotch in an old thread similar to this. If memory serves, I was admonished for it by some of the purists here.

As I recall, my description was not unlike taking a few pairs of old dirty sweat socks and stuffing them inside a worn out tire. Then, after lighting the tire on fire with a low grade diesel and letting it burn for no more than 30 minutes, promptly burying it in a peat bog for a few years. After digging it out and wringing out the socks through an unwashed jockstrap into a bottle labeled "Your Finest Scotch", you could enjoy a shot or four...or not.

I've tried to like the stuff. Can't do it.


________________________________________________________
"Great danger lies in the notion that we can reason with evil." Doug Patton.
 
Posts: 19975 | Location: Montana | Registered: November 01, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I have not yet begun
to procrastinate
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Gustofer:
I've tried to like the stuff. Can't do it.

Same here. Yuck! Life is too short to waste it on something that's an "acquired taste".
I asked a friend who had some "good" scotch and said, "How long does it have to taste like shit before it tastes like something I would want to drink?"

He couldn't give me a definitive answer and I guessed it would be maybe the next lifetime.


--------
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
 
Posts: 3771 | Location: Central AZ | Registered: October 26, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Shaman
Picture of ScreamingCockatoo
posted Hide Post
Good brandy should have a biter dark chocolate aftertaste to it.





He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster.
 
Posts: 39716 | Location: Atop the cockatoo tree | Registered: July 27, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
  Powered by Social Strata Page 1 2  
 

SIGforum.com    Main Page  Hop To Forum Categories  What's Your Deal!    Describing hard liquor in the same manor as wines

© SIGforum 2024