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but you may already be a winner





Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency.



Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first
 
Posts: 51077 | Location: Henry County , Il | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I'm Fine
Picture of SBrooks
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quote:
Originally posted by Chowser:
Had some jehovah witnesses ring my doorbell once. I did the no speaka engrish and one started speaking in mandarin which I don’t understand either so i reply in cantonese no speak mandarin then this guy starts speaking cantonese.
I just go “you got me” and slammed the door.


Busted !!


------------------
SBrooks
 
Posts: 3529 | Location: East Tennessee | Registered: August 21, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Leemur
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The Jehovah’s Witnesses stopped bothering me after I started drawing huge dicks on their white SUV with a Sharpie.
 
Posts: 12483 | Location: Shenandoah Valley, VA | Registered: October 16, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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When the Je-Hos knock on my door, I greet them with "Merry Christmas" and invite them in to play Bingo.
They then depart quickly!
Amazing co-inky-dink: Shortly after posting in this thread, I went to the mailbox. There was an odd looking envelope addressed to me, using a form of my name I have not used in years. It was from a Je-Ho lady who wrote that the "pandemic" has kept her from from visiting me personally, but she was still concerned about my soul. And thoughtfully enclosed a Watchtower pamphlet.
Since she included her return address, I will send her a Christmas card and invite her to Bingo.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: YooperSigs,


End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
 
Posts: 10960 | Location: Marquette MI | Registered: July 08, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Drill Here, Drill Now
Picture of tatortodd
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quote:
Originally posted by Leemur:
The Jehovah’s Witnesses stopped bothering me after I started drawing huge dicks on their white SUV with a Sharpie.
I've been told by former JWs that they keep meticulous records, and I used this to my advantage a few years back when I spotted two female JWs going door to door.

I stripped down to my boxers and answered the door that way. Apparently, I was no longer welcome in their club so they left immediately and must've documented it as nobody ever came back.



Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.
 
Posts: 19399 | Location: N. Houston, TX | Registered: November 14, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Fighting the good fight
Picture of RogueJSK
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quote:
Originally posted by tatortodd:
I've been told by former JWs that they keep meticulous records


The Jehovah's Witnesses were sneaky back when I was in college. They'd send a pair of beautiful young 20-something women around to the college apartments. As a red-blooded 20-something male, of course you're going to open the door!

But once you figure out why they're there and politely decline (because hey, they're still two hot girls and you don't want to be a dick to them), it's too late! You're now on the "he answers the door and isn't a complete dick about it" list.

Next thing you know, there's a parade of crusty old male Jehovah's Witnesses showing up on the regular, knocking on your door.

Classic bait and switch.
 
Posts: 26088 | Location: Northwest Arkansas | Registered: January 06, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
And say my glory was
I had such friends.
Picture of Hunthelp
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I get to educate door-to-door solar salesmen every five to six months. They spit out their initial line of owning a roof top system and I cut them off that I already have one. They say, that it must be mounted on the back of the house and they apologize for bothering me.

That’s when I tell them, it is not on the back of the house. It’s located in my taxes and utility bill. The puzzled look gets addressed with the litany that I’ve paid for my system by paying taxes for the state and federal rebates. I’ve paid for my system by paying the special utility assessment I’m charged on my monthly electric bill. I close with the GTFOML.




"I don't shoot well, but I shoot often." - Pres. T. Roosevelt
 
Posts: 1873 | Location: Chandler, AZ | Registered: June 30, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Cruising the
Highway to Hell
Picture of 95flhr
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Built a house in the woods, I have a decoy house close or the road. That cured all this BS.




“Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.”
― Ronald Reagan

The postings on this site are my own and do not necessarily represent the positions, strategies or opinions of my employer.
 
Posts: 6113 | Location: Near the Beaverdam in VA | Registered: February 13, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of cparktd
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quote:
Originally posted by tatortodd:

I stripped down to my boxers and answered the door that way.







I do like sweet potatoes with my possum.
 
Posts: 3161 | Location: Middle Tennessee | Registered: February 07, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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One Saturday morning around 8am we got jehovas knocking on our door. My dog goes nuts wakes me up I grab my shotgun as I most certainly am not expecting any visitors. Open the door butt naked with a shotgun. They left and we haven’t been bothered since.
 
Posts: 1582 | Registered: March 04, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Rick Lee
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I knocked on a prospect's door about a year ago because there was no phone number on their contact request card. A kid answered, said his folks were our door knocking. I joked, "Well, I know how that goes." Turns out there were JWs. I left a card with the son, the mom called later in the day, and asked me to come back. I wrote the mother and father, made a pretty big sale out of it. She handed me a Watchtower magazine as I left. LOL.
 
Posts: 2041 | Location: Cave Creek, AZ | Registered: October 24, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
and this little pig said:
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I had a couple JWs show up at the house. One asked "Can I talk to you about God?" my reply:" Yes, if you want to talk about guns first!"
They left!
 
Posts: 3070 | Registered: February 07, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Three Generations
of Service
Picture of PHPaul
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quote:
Originally posted by ffemt44:
One Saturday morning around 8am we got jehovas knocking on our door. My dog goes nuts wakes me up I grab my shotgun as I most certainly am not expecting any visitors. Open the door butt naked with a shotgun. They left and we haven’t been bothered since.


We were getting regular visits. We're usually at least polite to them and maybe even discuss things a little. (Retired, no life...)

Subject of praying came up and Wife mentioned that the Bible said to be humble about it, praying privately in a closet, not making a production out of it like the Pharisee did. She was promptly told there was no such passage in the Bible.

Next time they visited she hauled out the Bible and showed them the verse, from Matthew IIRC.

They left, haven't been back since and that was nearly a year ago.




Be careful when following the masses. Sometimes the M is silent.
 
Posts: 12877 | Location: Downeast Maine | Registered: March 10, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Prefontaine
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I have a professional one that looks like it belongs on a business door. It’s mounted up high on my security storm door. For the most part they don’t bother but occasionally they do. Same thing as OP, I’m doing whatever, eating, riding my spin bike, something, bam, doorbell, cue Mal barking aggressively and wanting to draw blood (she is trained to defend the house) jumping up and down ready to throw down. I say nay, sitz, blieb then open both doors, reach my arm around and point at the sign, that is clearly visible and say “get off my fucking property now or I will call the Police.” In this situation I’m not worried about being nice or courteous. I pay too much in property taxes and I put that sign there for a reason, do not disturb me. One guy was so insistent that statement above didn’t bother him at all and he kept talking. I walked completely out onto the porch, raised my shirt and showed an exposed holster and pistol and said “It’s the Police or you’ll be at gunpoint, choose.” Finally he turned around and left saying “you’re an asshole” and I replied back that he’s the asshole on my property ignoring signs and being the asshole disturbing me. Then another get the fuck off my property was yelled.

I’m about to install an expensive security camera system. I’m going to have them put in a speaker that I can use an app to tell these clowns to leave so I don’t have to get up or move. Open camera app, open mic app, be staring at them “you’re wearing a blue polo shirt, and khakis, I can see you, get off my property or the Police will be called. Looking forward to it.



lex talionis
 
Posts: 10411 | Registered: January 16, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Pondering the difficulty of mounting a train horn on the porch, as part of my jehovah's witness protection program...
 
Posts: 62 | Location: Southwest Missouri  | Registered: April 08, 2020Reply With QuoteReport This Post
That rug really tied
the room together.
Picture of bubbatime
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Ha. I literally have a sign out front that says no soliciting, I will not buy your shit, I will not listen to your religious ramblings, go away, do not knock.

Every so often someone knocks and attempts to sell me Tupperware or frozen steaks. I say, “did you read the sign”? Then I read the sign to them, word for word, then I stare at them until they de-ass my front porch.


______________________________________________________
Often times a very small man can cast a very large shadow
 
Posts: 5831 | Location: Floriduh | Registered: October 16, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Dances With
Tornados
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I’m reminded of the movie Second Hand Lion with Robert Duvall and Michael Caine. The scenes of the salesmen being met with gunfire is hilarious. If you’ve not seen Second Hand Lion, you should. It’s a very good movie.




Link to original video: https://youtu.be/tvf52j3-DDY
.




Link to original video: https://youtu.be/MwyAGyB5IEo
.
 
Posts: 9283 | Registered: October 26, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Internet Guru
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I've actually encountered that same sales guy. He ignored the No Soliciting sign and a verbal confirmation that I wasn't interested. Considered killing the guy, but that would have been work intensive.
 
Posts: 1063 | Registered: April 06, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Prefontaine
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Problems solved. Last week I put in a surveillance system. I now have a speaker on the doorbell where I can yell at people. The next fucker ignoring my no soliciting sign is gonna get it Big Grin



lex talionis
 
Posts: 10411 | Registered: January 16, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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