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Waiting for Hachiko
Picture of Sunset_Va
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I will not elaborate, since my thoughts have been covered by others.

I do hope you will heed all this advice.

I married a gal with a young son. Looking back,it worked worked out many years later. But there were some rough years too,as my step son saw ( which Was as it should be) his father for 13 years, and there was a lot see saw disciplie.

The saving grace was, my wife was a strict disciplinarian, both with my step son and our son.

Good Luck !


美しい犬
 
Posts: 5912 | Location: Near the Metropolis of Tightsqueeze, Va | Registered: February 18, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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It is clear you have different value systems. Just leave at that and state you are too old to change.
 
Posts: 655 | Registered: November 07, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A Grateful American
Picture of sigmonkey
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quote:
Originally posted by RogueJSK:
*Eject!*
*Eject!*
*Eject!*...


Yep! It don't get no Harrier than that...


We


"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" I could explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. FANGS OUT
 
Posts: 41019 | Location: fl | Registered: December 20, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of caneau
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This might be the first time I've seen SigForum be unanimous. 2020's a strange year.

I'm 35 and a "millenial", and I agree with everyone else. It won't get better and her parenting style is an indication of future issues. I wouldn't date her either.


__________________________________
An operator is someone who picks up the phone when I dial 0.
 
Posts: 5258 | Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Registered: February 20, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I'm in a similar situation with my best friend and his daughter. I completely disapprove of his parenting style to the point where when he has her I've made every excuse in the book not to be around them.

I don't know what it is about how children are raised today but I've seen too many whiny, crying children (not babies) and parents that don't nip that behavior in the bud. I also can't stand how kids demand music/videos on their parents' smartphone and the parents hand it over immediately just to shut the kid up. On one hand I enjoy the peace and quiet but on the other the tail is wagging the dog and only sets the bar higher for their future demands.
 
Posts: 28 | Location: NH | Registered: October 11, 2020Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Rev. A. J. Forsyth
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Pull the ripcord now.
 
Posts: 1289 | Location: Winston-Salem  | Registered: April 01, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of mcrimm
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There's some great lines here:

Pull the ripcord now.
Yep! It don't get no Harrier than that...
Some gals have baggage. This one you're dealing with has a whole fucking freight train!
There is no shortage of people on this planet to choose from.
You didn't set the house on fire, so you don't need to rescue everyone.
so many red flags there you must feel like a bull. you know what to and don't even look back.

Impressive.



I'm sorry if I hurt you feelings when I called you stupid - I thought you already knew - Unknown
...................................
When you have no future, you live in the past. " Sycamore Row" by John Grisham
...................................
Liberalism is a failure to find pathways to intelligence in your brain. - David Lawrence
 
Posts: 2850 | Location: Kalispell Montana & Florida’s Emerald Coast for the Winter | Registered: December 24, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Still finding my way
Picture of Ryanp225
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Lefty Sig, I feel your pain as I am in an almost identical situation with a great woman I'm dating.
Her and I really hit it off and spent the first month we dated just talking and laughing with each other almost every day. I fell really hard for her.
Then I met the kids.
Don't get me wrong as I love kiddos and have two daughters of my own but hers are almost feral and now I'm really having a hard time weighing my very strong feeling for her and my own sanity having to live with the utter chaos of her daily life with the little monsters.
Her ex has them every other week so I have a little break in the madness to enjoy my girlfriend as adults but I can't possibly hope to have a serious relationship with her since I have zero desire to be around her kids.
 
Posts: 9197 | Registered: January 04, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Ryanp225:
Lefty Sig, I feel your pain as I am in an almost identical situation with a great woman I'm dating.
Her and I really hit it off and spent the first month we dated just talking and laughing with each other almost every day. I fell really hard for her.
Then I met the kids.
Don't get me wrong as I love kiddos and have two daughters of my own but hers are almost feral and now I'm really having a hard time weighing my very strong feeling for her and my own sanity having to live with the utter chaos of her daily life with the little monsters.
Her ex has them every other week so I have a little break in the madness to enjoy my girlfriend as adults but I can't possibly hope to have a serious relationship with her since I have zero desire to be around her kids.


I'm not saying you shouldn't dump her, but in my experience, sometimes the kids are jealous of Moms interest in the new man in her life and they show resentment toward him.

Is it jealousy on behalf of the kids, or are they totally out of control?


*********
"Just think what Goebbels could have done with Facebook."
 
Posts: 7485 | Location: Arizona | Registered: August 17, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Still finding my way
Picture of Ryanp225
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quote:
Originally posted by GWbiker:


I'm not saying you shouldn't dump her, but in my experience, sometimes the kids are jealous of Moms interest in the new man in her life and they show resentment toward him.

Is it jealousy on behalf of the kids, or are they totally out of control?


Totally out of control.
They actually really like me and always want me to come over when they are at their moms. The hard part is they literally hang off of me from the moment I arrive and beg/whine constantly for me to do every activity under the sun (they are over the ages of 10 and should behave better) and mom doesn't tell them to behave and treat her guest with any semblance of respect.
Bed time is a 2 hour ordeal with screaming, crying, and yelling to give one example. EVERY NIGHT. Eek
 
Posts: 9197 | Registered: January 04, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Ryanp225:
quote:
Originally posted by GWbiker:


I'm not saying you shouldn't dump her, but in my experience, sometimes the kids are jealous of Moms interest in the new man in her life and they show resentment toward him.

Is it jealousy on behalf of the kids, or are they totally out of control?


Totally out of control.
They actually really like me and always want me to come over when they are at their moms. The hard part is they literally hang off of me from the moment I arrive and beg/whine constantly for me to do every activity under the sun (they are over the ages of 10 and should behave better) and mom doesn't tell them to behave and treat her guest with any semblance of respect.
Bed time is a 2 hour ordeal with screaming, crying, and yelling to give one example. EVERY NIGHT. Eek


Have you discussed this with her in a non-confrontational way? (I know this is a very dangerous discussion). Maybe perhaps offer a few ideas and see if she follows them. Then don't add anymore to the discussion. But that situation sounds like a nightmare that I would want no part of.
 
Posts: 20398 | Registered: June 12, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Still finding my way
Picture of Ryanp225
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quote:
Originally posted by jimmy123x:


Have you discussed this with her in a non-confrontational way? (I know this is a very dangerous discussion). Maybe perhaps offer a few ideas and see if she follows them. Then don't add anymore to the discussion.


Yeah that's a conversation to tread lightly on. Wink
The nice part is we communicate very well together and I have been a little frank with her about her kids a couple of times. She acknowledged that she disapproved of their behavior but seems unable to get control over them or have them listen to her without repeating herself 12 times.
All the while I'm torn. The side of me with the smarts says stay out of it but the other side wants to say "put me in coach, I'll whip them little farts into shape".
I'm giving it some time to settle in as I've only been dating her for 3 months and just met the kids a month ago. If it doesn't improve then I'll have to tell her I'm not willing to tolerate that life style and we will have to improvise somehow or move on.
 
Posts: 9197 | Registered: January 04, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Fusternc
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I’ll echo some of the others comment to RUN don’t walk AWAY! Things will NOT improve.....only get worse.
 
Posts: 1337 | Location: New Hampshire | Registered: December 05, 1999Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Krazeehorse
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Ryan...maybe suggest family counseling? Discover ways to address specific issues like going to bed without all the drama.


_____________________

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Posts: 4464 | Location: Ohio | Registered: December 27, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Still finding my way
Picture of Ryanp225
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Thanks Krazeehorse. Good advice.

quote:


But yeah, it's not going to go much further because I would not be able to stand it. And sadly I've seen a lot more of this kind of behavior than anything else with regard to single mothers and kids their age.


That's where I find myself. It's a messed up situation to tell a woman you're crazy about her but her childrens' behavior and differences in how to raise kids is a deal breaker.
Good luck.
 
Posts: 9197 | Registered: January 04, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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If you think it is bad now, wait until you try to discipline the children.
BTDT
Never again
 
Posts: 655 | Registered: November 07, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Little ray
of sunshine
Picture of jhe888
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quote:
Originally posted by Edmond:
You may as well just cut off communication with her now. She’s not going to change or alter her kids behavior because of you. This will go nowhere. Those kids are a problem because of her. She raised them to be like that.


Agreed. Take this opportunity to put your foot down about this. Maybe she'll learn to do something about her miserable kids.




The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
 
Posts: 49177 | Location: Texas | Registered: February 10, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Take it like a man, RUN!
Get out of your situation as fast and calm as possible. They’ll all turn on you, blood is thicker than water.
 
Posts: 4049 | Location: west 'by god' virginia | Registered: May 30, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
thin skin can't win
Picture of Georgeair
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Haven't y'all read - he doesn't want any advice.



You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02

 
Posts: 11038 | Location: Madison, MS | Registered: December 10, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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[quote]ryan...maybe suggest family counseling? Discover ways to address specific issues like going to bed without all the drama.
^^^^^^^^^^^
Somehow I get the feeling that she is not gonna go for this, or anything that suggests she is lacking in the parenting department.
 
Posts: 9315 | Location: Stuck at home | Registered: January 02, 2015Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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