SIGforum
Limp handshakes. It tells me you don't give a crap.

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/230601935/m/2620067444

July 23, 2018, 08:35 AM
arcwelder
Limp handshakes. It tells me you don't give a crap.
I'm not sure what people think about handshakes these days, but maybe I'm old fashioned.

Generally speaking, I'd call a firm handshake respectful. In any transaction, it also says "I am pleased, and thank you."

If you're a lady, or identify as non male, you should still try to shake hands like you're awake.

I can't stand "the dead hand" or whatever you'd like to call it.

I'm not advocating for giving everyone a bone crushing death grip, that's not actually polite either.

But dang, if I wanted to shake hands with a corpse, I'd dig one up. Or go over Bill Cosby's house.


Arc.
______________________________
"Like a bitter weed, I'm a bad seed"- Johnny Cash
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee Herman
Rode hard, put away wet. RIP JHM
"You're a junkyard dog." - Lupe Flores. RIP

July 23, 2018, 08:52 AM
SBrooks
I agree. Both limp fish and bone-crushing are annoying.

People hear "firm" and think it means as hard as I can squeeze ?


------------------
SBrooks
July 23, 2018, 10:00 AM
9x18
So what do you advise me to do? I've just had wrist surgery and a firm handshake is to be avoided .
I have been going into my whole carpal tunnel spiel but it is getting tiresome. And sounds likes whining.( it is, I'm a baby I admit.)
Maybe just a quick peck on each cheek? Big Grin
July 23, 2018, 10:12 AM
recoatlift

July 23, 2018, 10:12 AM
V-Tail
quote:
Originally posted by 9x18:
So what do you advise me to do? I've just had wrist surgery and a firm handshake is to be avoided .
I have been going into my whole carpal tunnel spiel but it is getting tiresome. And sounds likes whining.( it is, I'm a baby I admit.)
Maybe just a quick peck on each cheek? Big Grin
Yeah, when I read Arc's original post in this thread I thought about the period when I was released from the hospital after being hit with Guillain Barré Syndrome.

My hands were so weak that I actually had to ask people for help at the gas station -- I could not twist the cap off to fuel my car. I could not open jars in the kitchen. Couldn't load a magazine, even had trouble with squeezing a trigger.

It took months of physical therapy and exercise. Two and a half years later, I have probably recovered 80% to 90% of my previous hand strength.



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
July 23, 2018, 10:14 AM
tatortodd
Tells me they either don't give a shit or aren't worth a shit.



Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.
July 23, 2018, 10:17 AM
tatortodd
quote:
Originally posted by 9x18:
So what do you advise me to do? I've just had wrist surgery and a firm handshake is to be avoided .
I have been going into my whole carpal tunnel spiel but it is getting tiresome. And sounds likes whining.( it is, I'm a baby I admit.)
Maybe just a quick peck on each cheek? Big Grin
In a business situation, definitely give an explanation.

Personal situation, go for the hug, weak handed fist bump, or just give a reminder of your injury.



Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity

DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer.
July 23, 2018, 10:23 AM
Otto Pilot
Ech, "The Squid".

I can handle "The Squeeze" but what drives me crazy is the "Premature Shake-ulation" where they grab your fingers and shake.

With regard to injured or less functional hands, I've gone lefty before, and if neither works, a "pleased to meet you" and polite explanation have gotten the job done.


______________________________________________
Aeronautics confers beauty and grandeur, combining art and science for those who devote themselves to it. . . . The aeronaut, free in space, sailing in the infinite, loses himself in the immense undulations of nature. He climbs, he rises, he soars, he reigns, he hurtles the proud vault of the azure sky. — Georges Besançon
July 23, 2018, 10:31 AM
Georgeair
Or just hold your hand up and say - "just had surgery, how are you?"

Limp is awful.

So too is the dude who thinks he's asserting his overwhelming power and masculinity crushing your hand. You're ripped, I get it. Glad to know you're also a dick.



You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02

July 23, 2018, 11:21 AM
vinnybass
Don't short grip me either. I can't stand it when someone closes in around my fingers before the proper depth of engagement is achieved.



"We're all travelers in this world. From the sweet grass to the packing house. Birth 'til death. We travel between the eternities."
July 23, 2018, 12:02 PM
airsoft guy




quote:
Originally posted by Will938:
If you don't become a screen writer for comedy movies, then you're an asshole.
July 23, 2018, 12:14 PM
ZSMICHAEL
It tells me they lack social skills and had poor parenting. Part of raising a son includes looking someone straight in the eye and giving a firm handshake.
July 23, 2018, 12:43 PM
Ripley
Worse than too limp or strong is the guy who clamps on to your fingers before your hands fully clasp. I don't know if they think it's a race or just another dominance game but I've never experienced that situation where the offender doesn't act superior. It's been a while since that's happened, even in the most casual meeting, I get my hand right in there now.




Set the controls for the heart of the Sun.
July 23, 2018, 12:52 PM
flesheatingvirus
Lack of eye contact during a handshake bothers me, too.

It makes me wonder, "Are you going to try to stab/shoot me later?".


________________________________________

-- Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. --
July 23, 2018, 01:18 PM
wolfe 21
Honestly, I'd just as soon people stopped doing this. I don't like touching or being touched by other people, especially strangers. I don't hug people either, even family. Just conduct business, thank you and leave.


A Perpetual Disappointment...
July 23, 2018, 01:47 PM
KevinCW
I assume whenever I get a weak or limp handshake that that is an act of submission and that person now has placed me in charge.





Strive to live your life so when you wake up in the morning and your feet hit the floor, the devil says "Oh crap, he's up."
July 23, 2018, 02:04 PM
UTsig
When I ran a business and interviewed for openings a limp handshake was the end. I taught this to a young man who was taking over for his Dad, he had never thought of that way to judge folks.

I complimented a youngster who is just starting out, he had a firm shake and he looked me in the eye on first meeting. He is very proud that I recognized him for it and tells me he now watches people to see what they do.


________________________________

"Nature scares me" a quote by my friend Bob after a rough day at sea.
July 23, 2018, 03:47 PM
arcwelder
quote:
Originally posted by wolfe 21:
Honestly, I'd just as soon people stopped doing this. I don't like touching or being touched by other people, especially strangers. I don't hug people either, even family. Just conduct business, thank you and leave.


Mmm, unfortunately this is a well dug in societal norm, and particularly in any transactional sense I'd say it'll be sticking around. I'm not a hugger either.

quote:
Originally posted by KevinCW:
I assume whenever I get a weak or limp handshake that that is an act of submission and that person now has placed me in charge.


A fair assumption.

quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
quote:
Originally posted by 9x18:
So what do you advise me to do? I've just had wrist surgery and a firm handshake is to be avoided .
I have been going into my whole carpal tunnel spiel but it is getting tiresome. And sounds likes whining.( it is, I'm a baby I admit.)
Maybe just a quick peck on each cheek? Big Grin
Yeah, when I read Arc's original post in this thread I thought about the period when I was released from the hospital after being hit with Guillain Barré Syndrome.

My hands were so weak that I actually had to ask people for help at the gas station -- I could not twist the cap off to fuel my car. I could not open jars in the kitchen. Couldn't load a magazine, even had trouble with squeezing a trigger.

It took months of physical therapy and exercise. Two and a half years later, I have probably recovered 80% to 90% of my previous hand strength.


Medical issues are, not an issue. I've had some hand injuries of my own, and one can't be faulted for such. No, I'm talking about people who have no excuse.

Frankly, I'd absolutely settle for someone just out and saying "I'm not comfortable shaking hands," or just about anything besides either unintentionally, or purposefully disrespecting me with a limp handshake.

People who grab the fingers, yeah they're next in line at the Guillotine.


Arc.
______________________________
"Like a bitter weed, I'm a bad seed"- Johnny Cash
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." - Pee Wee Herman
Rode hard, put away wet. RIP JHM
"You're a junkyard dog." - Lupe Flores. RIP

July 23, 2018, 04:58 PM
Kevmo
quote:
Originally posted by SBrooks:
I agree. Both limp fish and bone-crushing are annoying.

People hear "firm" and think it means as hard as I can squeeze ?


I don't know about you but I can always tell the difference between someone with a firm, even hard handshake and someone purposely trying to crush your hand to "impress"
July 23, 2018, 06:05 PM
CPD SIG
A few years back, I decided to shatter my right wrist at work. Off for 6 months after the surgery (2 screws) to put my stuff back together.

I'd be damned if I was going to go "dead fish" on a handshake! In the cast and shortly after, I'd shake with my left paw, and explain "Sorry, I just shattered this one."

Never had a complaint.

As stated, a handshake should be firm, and looking into the other persons eyes.

Please don't confuse the lack of ability to deliver a firm handshake due to a physical disability or injury and the lack of testosterone it takes to shake a man's hand. Two TOTALLY different things!


______________________________________________________________________
"When its time to shoot, shoot. Dont talk!"

“What the government is good at is collecting taxes, taking away your freedoms and killing people. It’s not good at much else.” —Author Tom Clancy