You missed it! The showing of an ultrasound photo in geto culture is a invite for some action. Did you do her?

I see this type of crap everyday at work. I truely feel sorry for the kids of these parents, because they will end up all messed up. We have licensing/permits for everything else in this world already (driving, CCW, etc..) but not to be a parent! You think if people had to take a test to be a parent how many would fail?

While I agree with some of the posters regarding the child being a "bastard" or "illegitimate", I was raised to be polite and not be an ass to people who I have to interact with. I would have politely smiled and said congratulations and moved on. I don't like the fact that the taxpayer pays the bill for many such children, but it's not my place to judge her. In other words, I mind my own business and keep my mouth shut...

I was amused by the post below for MANY reasons. I am 34, my wife is a couple years older, and in 3 months we will be new parents. As older parents we have heard all the "advanced maternal age" comments, and it took us longer to accomplish our goals that it EVER takes an 18 year old. All that said, I wouldn't do it any other way now. I am far enough along in life that I know some stuff about financial planning, I understand the value of an education, I appreciate a hard days work, and I have a sense of right and wrong. I may not succeed in imparting any of these into my son, but he is going to have a size 13 boot print on his hind end if he doesn't learn them. If I had knocked up a woman at 18, I would have been the worst Dad ever. That doesn't say I will be a good Dad now, but at least I have been on this earth long enough to have an idea what to shoot for. THat poor kid just doesn't have much of a chance, but sometimes those kids but their nose down, and work it out, and go on to great things...

shooter

quote:

Originally posted by caneau:
Devolution...

Smart, successful people are having fewer kids and having them later in life (late 20s, early to mid 30s).

People who's aspirations in life involve being the Customer Service Manager at Wal-Mart are having kids in their teens and early 20s.

The ones who have them later in life can send their 1 or 2 kids to better schools, pay more attention to them, and pay for at least part of their college. Their children, most likely, will follow in their parents footsteps of being successful and educated.

The ones who have them early in life don't have the maturity, experience, or finances to be good parents. What kind of kids will they raise? That's right, ones who have their kids when they're 17 or 18.

It's a vicious cycle that the successful people are losing since they statistically have a fertility rate of less than 2. The same can't be said for the others...

"Congratulation", might have made her feel like she's not a slut. Yet, that might show "understanding" and we wouldn't want that in 2008.

quote:

Originally posted by SmokeJumper:
"Congratulation", might have made her feel like she's not a slut. Yet, that might show "understanding" and we wouldn't want that in 2008.

I show understanding... the understanding that if she feels like a slut there is likely a reason for that.

I have read somewhere that if one does the following four things they will be virtually guaranteed not to be poor:

Graduate High School
Get (and keep) a job
Don't have a child out of wedlock
Don't have a child before age 21

Naw... it'd be better to congratulate her.

quote:

Originally posted by parallel:

quote:

Originally posted by SmokeJumper:
"Congratulation", might have made her feel like she's not a slut. Yet, that might show "understanding" and we wouldn't want that in 2008.

I show understanding... the understanding that if she feels like a slut there is likely a reason for that.

I have read somewhere that if one does the following four things they will be virtually guaranteed not to be poor:

Graduate High School
Get (and keep) a job
Don't have a child out of wedlock
Don't have a child before age 21

Naw... it'd be better to congratulate her.

Yea. That judging stuff is not always kind. She may be a screwed-up, but she knows that. A kind word MIGHT be what she needs. If not, at least disinterested parties don't get all twisted over the life another creates.

But, it is easier to judge harshly; especially when one 'knows' he/she is right.

Even pure flakes can change. Perfect people can only go down-hill.

quote:

Perfect people can only go down-hill.

In my opinion THIS is where we have gone wrong. Of course no one is perfect. However, the more one tries to do the right thing the better person they become. If one subscribes to the whole "I'll never be perfect so why even try" theory, they begin to simply do whatever is easy and not what is right.

Case in point. I myself have fallen victim to this mentality. I have always been one of those people who has never been and never will be thin. Even when I was in Naval Special Warfare and could run sub 10 minute mile and half and do sit ups and push ups until I was told to stop, I still didn't look like I was in the shape that I was. So, I just figured what the hell, I'll just embrace it, I'll never be thin anyway. Big mistake, now that I have a kid I realize that I need to do everything in my power to set a good example and be there for my family. I have had people tell me that I need to do better, and they were right.

"Understanding" will do nothing but send the signal that bad behavior is okay. Well, I'm sorry, but bad behavior is NOT okay. Even my own.

+1000 parallel. You hit the nail on the head!!

"Yea. That judging stuff is not always kind. She may be a screwed-up, but she knows that. A kind word MIGHT be what she needs. If not, at least disinterested parties don't get all twisted over the life another creates"

Well when they shove it in my face looking for a response i'm going to call em' like i see em'. I wont censor myself just so this person can feel good about their bad decisions.

Isn't it a little like someone whom you know has an abyssmal sense of finances bragging because they just won $1 million in a state lottery? You KNOW how it's going to end.

I'm not going to dictate that someone feign congratulations when they have a reasonable suspicion that their tax dollars are going toend up paying for someone's inability to plan ahead... or even simply keep themselves from digging an ever deeper hole.

Children are a blessing... but you're congratulating someone for having an accident that's likely going to have tragic ramifications for that kid.

I've been asked on one or two occasions to be the partner in lamaze classes... because the "father" was in jail. WTF?! Not their first kid either. I felt like telling them "No. But if you ever decide to take a class on life planning... or BIRTH CONTROL, I'll be happy to join you!"