|thin skin can't win|
You didn't cause it, you can't cure it and you sure can't control it no matter how many rules you lay down for an adult.
Hope this somehow works out well for you. And that all these messages weren't coming just from you, but from your SO as well. From what you've described, perhaps not.
Best of luck.
You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02
|Not really from Vienna|
I'm curious about how this fellow finances his marijuana hobby.
This kind of messed up situation with adults moving back home is exactly what happened to my wife's parents. At one time her sisters and brother all moved back home with their children since they couldn't hold down jobs and afford their own rents.
Both parents were retired but had to get back into the work force to pay for the adult children and grandchildren who were sponging off of them. They are so far in debt now that they will never recover and retirement is nowhere in sight for her Mom while her Dad is now far too old and in poor health to work.
He actually has a decent job and has been pretty decent about being here, in fact we rarely see him and he has been playing by the rules.
Just to be clear, he has his issues but is not a bum,,,,he had a GF and they were sharing expenses in a really nice apt and, like many young couples, stretched pretty thin. Not 2 months after convincing him they needed to sign a new leases she decided that she was moving back home with her mom and needed to "figure things out". He went to the management company and told them they needed to break the lease as he could not afford rent on his own. They owe the old complex some money for easy termination and he is worried the ex is going to flake (I told him to take her to small claims as her name is on lease too).
His end game is to save up enough to pay first/last/security in new, smaller apt and be out. The concern that I have is he will get to comfortable here and we will have to shove him out so I am monitoring very closely
Now that you've "accepted" said son, your house...your rules. I would
Don't do it behind his back...do it right in front of him to show there are no secrets either way.
"If you’re a leader, you lead the way. Not just on the easy ones; you take the tough ones too…” – MAJ Richard D. Winters (1918-2011), E Company, 2nd Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 101st Airborne
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil... Therefore, as tongues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames, so their roots will decay and their flowers blow away like dust; for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel." - Isaiah 5:20,24
Much to my surprise he actually asked my wife if he could give her cash every pay period to hold for him....I will see if it tapers off after a few checks
Why doesn't your wife take him to the bank and show him how to open a savings account......and she can even show him how to have it auto debit X amount of dollars every so often.....geez, the kid is 26??? I owned 2 used car dealerships at that age and ran everything.
I hear you but I will accept small victories. Like you, I was well on my way at his age, owned a home and a 35 foot sailboat with zero help from parents.
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