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Stepson Moving Back In...Temporarily - UPDATED Page 4
September 08, 2017, 03:41 PM
RHINOWSOStepson Moving Back In...Temporarily - UPDATED Page 4
quote:
Could be worse! My youngest grandson moved in here more than a year ago. Without my knowledge or agreement. I was never consulted.
Mrs. Elk let him use her car. He got drunker than $500 dollars (to quote a DI friend of mine years ago) and wrecked it. Fortunately no real damage, but the cops hauled him in, went to trial, Fine and court costs of $800.
Since he lost his license she acts like his personal driver. He pays nothing towards the gasoline, or his living expenses here. He collects more than $800 per month in military disability payments and as far as I can determine has not saved a dime. His driver's license had 11, out of 12, points against it. He will get his license back in early January.
And "grandma" buys all his special foods. Not that he needs special foods, but he likes certain stuff, like pulled pork, certain deserts.
He buys lots of that expensive energy drink shit but only consumes about half, on average, and the rest gets thrown away.
All the above is just a brief summary.
She has driven him to VA facilities in Fredricksburg and Richmond for all his medical appointments. Which run about twice a week on average.
Oh, and guess who fronted the money for his fine?
Oh, and he has had several LARGE tattoos done as well. And those ain't cheap, either.
Not to mention the $700+ metal detector he bought to search for civil war bullets, etc. And used the hell out of it for about a week, and it has been sitting in the laundry room for the last several months.
Sounds like someone needs to step up and be the man of the house.
September 08, 2017, 04:32 PM
Georgeairquote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
You might want to check with an attorny about "understood tenancy" between the you and your SIL.
Mnay a good person's home has been turned topsy turvey for the kind act of "helping someone", even for a few days.
This is excellent advice, and precisely why we didn't enter into a rent, lease or other tenant agreement with my son when he had a temporary stay with us a year ago, not at a good juncture of his life. There was a solid trail of "you can stay with us a night or two, but may not move in in any way". Might still have had potential issues, but I've got other levers to pull to get him out if I'd had to.
Also, I was working from a united front. You, clearly, are not. I just don't understand that, and the "that's what moms do" line is just BS. That's what weak-minded coddling moms do who can't see that they are hurting the kids more than helping them. ADULT kids!!! Not to mention disrespecting themselves and more directly their partner they supposedly were committed to, who HAVE upheld their end of a relationship.
You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02
September 08, 2017, 08:24 PM
GWbikerquote:
Being that he is a known drug user I would have serious apprehensions about this. Especially with a 16 year old girl in the house. The last thing you need are his dopehead buddies around....
THIS...
The Daughter is worth saving, the dopehead, NO.
Show him the door.
*********
"Some people are alive today because it's against the law to kill them".
September 08, 2017, 09:05 PM
IcabodBoth of my kids boomerang back home. Nothing bad, one got out of a nasty relationship and another was changing jobs and relocating.
Both paid rent from the start. Both had assigned chores (I got out of changing cat boxes). Both were very happy to move out. Yes, my wife ran their budget.
“ The work of destruction is quick, easy and exhilarating; the work of creation is slow, laborious and dull. September 08, 2017, 11:12 PM
Lord VaalicWeed = No way. Get out. You don't want that in your house or around your daughter. How long before he's offering to share some with her or her friends?
Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day September 08, 2017, 11:31 PM
jimmy123xquote:
Originally posted by Icabod:
Both of my kids boomerang back home. Nothing bad, one got out of a nasty relationship and another was changing jobs and relocating.
Both paid rent from the start. Both had assigned chores (I got out of changing cat boxes). Both were very happy to move out. Yes, my wife ran their budget.
That is NOT the situation here!
September 09, 2017, 04:10 AM
L90814Check your state laws on landlord/tenant code. In Florida, "rent" could be monetary or something as simple as him washing dishes in exchange for living there. If he does something that turns him into a "tenant" instead of a "guest", you will have to go through the eviction process at the courthouse if he refuses to vacate.
September 09, 2017, 07:41 AM
220-9erVery simple.
The mom, your wife, is the root of the problem here.
The step son is the symptom.
___________________________
Avoid buying ChiCom/CCP products whenever possible.
September 09, 2017, 05:07 PM
oldbill123quote:
The Daughter is worth saving, the dopehead, NO.
Or, the daughter still has a shot. The stepson has a proven track record of non achievement.
September 11, 2017, 08:45 AM
Elk HunterI seem to recall something about property seizure by the law enforcement community for drug violations. Is that still in place?
If so, time to get the rat out.
Elk
There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour)
"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. "
-Thomas Jefferson
"America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville
FBHO!!!
The Idaho Elk Hunter
September 19, 2017, 11:55 PM
spunk639I had a friend in a similar circumstance, almost same scenario except no daughter, four months in to the three month stay he was living on my couch. Wife made choice of son from first marriage over him after twelve years of marriage, lost his house to her, where son still lives with her and pays her support. Screw getting legal advice on tenant law find a good divorce lawyer and hold on. Sorry see nothing but you losing in the end. Good Luck, hope I'm wrong.
September 21, 2017, 12:44 PM
Icabodquote:
Originally posted by jimmy123x:
That is NOT the situation here!
The OP wrote: "so his is moving in for supposedly 2 months to save some $$$$ and find a new apartment."
There are ways to help the kid but make leaving more comfortable then staying.
“ The work of destruction is quick, easy and exhilarating; the work of creation is slow, laborious and dull. September 21, 2017, 01:43 PM
cmr076quote:
Originally posted by GWbiker:
quote:
Being that he is a known drug user I would have serious apprehensions about this. Especially with a 16 year old girl in the house. The last thing you need are his dopehead buddies around....
THIS...
The Daughter is worth saving, the dopehead, NO.
Show him the door.
yea, those evil people smoking the devils lettuce.
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246R
September 21, 2017, 01:48 PM
RHINOWSOquote:
Originally posted by cmr076:
yea, those evil people smoking the devils lettuce.
Who also (in this case) can't hold a job or obtain housing like all the other adults.
Smoke weed all you want, but bring it into my house, around my kid?
Fuck that noise, especially when you want to live rent free..?
Bitch, PLEAAAZZZE.
September 21, 2017, 02:06 PM
KevmoHe is back in and we had a sit down prior and I told him very clearly that I love him and want him to be well and happy and this is why he is being allowed to move back in but he needs to be crystal clear that this is temporary and if I start to see him abusing it or behaving poorly he is out in an instant.
I also told him I need to see proof he is saving to move out and and is looking for a new apartment.
As far as the weed goes...I personally don't give a shit if people smoke but do not do it around me. I cannot stand the smell and I hate what it does to people (based on my own experiences when I was younger). My daughter is smart and strong enough to no get involved and kind of thinks her brother is a tool so she avoids him most tof the time anyway.
September 21, 2017, 03:30 PM
SRConsider charging rent which will be returned when he moves out. View it as a forced savings plan.
Speak softly and carry a big stick loaded Sig September 25, 2017, 10:53 PM
Johnny Radquote:
Originally posted by SR:
Consider charging rent which will be returned when he moves out. View it as a forced savings plan.
Was going to recommend the same with a twist. Match his savings at the end of two months. Nice parting gift.
If he's doing good and making the right choices, consider extending his stay to reward his good behavior.
He's family. He needs a helping hand - not a handout. Hopefully he'll learn something from all this and be better for it.
Good luck to you and him.
Just my $.02
September 26, 2017, 09:05 AM
45 CalWell you passed up some good suggestions from your invisible friends.
Good luck with the little sitdown with the boy,will not work and your household will crash and burn.
Happened to me decades ago,he abused every rule,his mom got a belly full of his shit and threw his ass out for good but not soon enough as he had his younger brother on that shit.
I really hope it works for you though.
September 26, 2017, 10:07 AM
cmr076quote:
Originally posted by RHINOWSO:
quote:
Originally posted by cmr076:
yea, those evil people smoking the devils lettuce.
Who also (in this case) can't hold a job or obtain housing like all the other adults.
Smoke weed all you want, but bring it into my house, around my kid?
Fuck that noise, especially when you want to live rent free..?
Bitch, PLEAAAZZZE.
I guess you're not wrong
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246R
September 26, 2017, 11:12 AM
oddballquote:
Originally posted by Kevmo:
As far as the weed goes...I personally don't give a shit if people smoke but do not do it around me. I cannot stand the smell and I hate what it does to people (based on my own experiences when I was younger).
I would rethink this.
Pot is an expensive vice. It ain't like drinking cans of Old Milwaukee after work. A guy living month to month and trying to save money is wasting money on weed. It is a luxury item to be sure. Quitting weed for awhile gets him much closer to the goal of saving for whatever you agreed upon.
"I’m not going to read Time Magazine, I’m not going to read Newsweek, I’m not going to read any of these magazines; I mean, because they have too much to lose by printing the truth"- Bob Dylan, 1965